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Poster: deadhead53 Date: Jan 19, 2011 4:58am
Forum: GratefulDead Subject: Re: Priceless for all dhead parents

I tell my kids Jerry died because he did not take care of himself on the road. Too many cigarettes and hot dogs with ketchup! Haha! They bought it though

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Poster: AltheaRose Date: Jan 19, 2011 5:36am
Forum: GratefulDead Subject: Re: Priceless for all dhead parents

Doesn't work so well with a 14-year-old who can google! My basic approach these days is to explain that Jerry basically lived on Haagen Dazs and grease sandwiches, and thus got diabetes, which weakened his heart -- and that, along with the drug addiction that he tried repeatedly to kick and the band tried to help him kick and so on, is what weakened his heart and ultimately killed him. While he was trying yet again to kick the drug addiction.

It really does bring up an interesting issue, though: What the hey DO you say to kids about some of this stuff?!? I mean, at some point they really are able to read, and it's, um, a little hard to miss certain things ...



This post was modified by AltheaRose on 2011-01-19 13:36:32

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Poster: deadhead53 Date: Jan 19, 2011 6:06am
Forum: GratefulDead Subject: Re: Priceless for all dhead parents

I agree, when they get older I will tackle that topic with them. My 8 yr old understands death, one of her friend's mom just passed away from breast cancer, so that is a little easier to explain to her then drug addiction, but your right it is difficult to try and explain to young ones!

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Poster: AltheaRose Date: Jan 19, 2011 6:10am
Forum: GratefulDead Subject: Re: Priceless for all dhead parents

And of course the whole relationship between drugs and the Dead becomes particularly dicey with a teen. Especially when you toss in the element of, "Oh, you saw HOW many shows? What were you, some kind of Grateful Dead stalker?" (True quote! And I didn't see anywhere near the number of shows that many folks did. Sounds like a lot to a kid, though ... and given that he's pretty adept at googling ... the discussion can get interesting. Just you wait, LOL!)

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Poster: unclejohn52 Date: Jan 19, 2011 6:47am
Forum: GratefulDead Subject: Re: Priceless for all dhead parents

I think you have to be very upfront and truthful with teens, always treating them as adults. "Yes, I went to lots of shows, yes I experimented with this and that"... with the expectation that they will experiment as well, whether you've told them about it or not, and whether you want them to or not! Guidance and limits... shine some light on their path, but you cannot control absolutely the turns and alleys that path will take. Trust in the skills you've already imparted to them, and remember how it felt to be a teen - how you desired nothing more than to be respected and treated.

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Poster: AltheaRose Date: Jan 19, 2011 10:22pm
Forum: GratefulDead Subject: Re: Priceless for all dhead parents

Interestingly, the band and its music and history does provide a jumping-off point for increasingly nuanced discussions on that particular issue. And also on stereotyping: just as there are many ways to be Muslim or Christian or left- or right-wing or whatever, there is/was no one thing called a "hippie;" a scuzzy zonked-out waste case flashing the peace sign may be a contemporary stereotype, but it's just not a fair portrait. (OK, not mostly!)

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Poster: BuckeyeJosh Date: Jan 19, 2011 8:37am
Forum: GratefulDead Subject: Re: Priceless for all dhead parents

Being a recovering addict and alcoholic myself my 14 and 12yr old children are no strangers to the effects of drug addiction and its consequences. I have always felt that with children honesty is the best policy, however there's no need to go into more detail than they are able to comprehend. But its important to know that if drugs are abused death is a possible consequence.

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Poster: direwolf0701 Date: Jan 20, 2011 8:43am
Forum: GratefulDead Subject: Re: Priceless for all dhead parents

right with ya with that sentiment Josh

(i'm sure what my girls have gone through has not left their memories either)

This post was modified by direwolf0701 on 2011-01-20 16:43:41

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Poster: AltheaRose Date: Jan 19, 2011 10:43pm
Forum: GratefulDead Subject: Re: Priceless for all dhead parents

Yeah, definitely. And I think that, for those of us who are parents now, that's actually an easier discussion in some ways than what our parents in the 60s, 70s etc could engage in. They only had distant scare stories, many of which just didn't ring true. Whereas not only do we have many historical examples for contextualizing -- the Jerrys, Brents and Janises -- but I'm sure there's no one on this board, or in our generation, who hasn't seen the effects of addiction firsthand, at least in friends and loved ones. Which at least does equip us a bit for the discussion.